Friday, February 25, 2011

Visits from Heaven

I woke up this morning thinking about my dad... It's been a while since he's visited me (over two years- I was pregnant with IZ) and I can't help but wonder. How is he doing? Does he come around often? Has he seen my kids? What does he think of the life I lead? What would our relationship be like now? Would he have gotten the proper help he needed to fully recover... with the support of his now adult children?

The first time he visited me in a dream, it had been less than a year since he'd been gone. I was living in my apartment with my roommates Brian and Stephanie. I remember specific things about the dream. The setting was my 5th Birthday party on Stanridge in Lancaster. We were in the house and everyone was sitting on the calico colored carpet, playing a party game. The walls were very white and plain around us. I knew others were there but did not see them directly. My dad was sitting straight across from me. We made eye contact, and in my mind, I couldn't understand why I was seeing him. I kept telling myself he was gone... how is it possible for him to be here?? Thats when I knew it wasn't just a dream! It felt so real! I believe it to be a real meeting, straight from heaven. I didn't touch or smell him, but we met eyes, and I knew it was really him! He was stopping by to console my pain of his passing. Waking up that morning, I was in full blown hysterics. I wanted him to hold me, but knew that wasn't possible. Even though I was so upset, I knew he was with me and seeing his face was the beginning of my healing. The days and months to follow, I longed for another visit. I can't remember how much time had passed, but I did in fact SEE HIM AGAIN...

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